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“Wife refuses sex”

I have a difficult situation with my wife. When we met, she asked about past relations, and I told her everything, because I wanted to be honest. We started living together, in a month she became pregnant. Almost immediately, monstrous jealousy began to my past, even to those girls I met in adolescence. I tried to explain that even with friends I almost stopped seeing myself to be near and helped (the pregnancy was difficult), but she did not listen. These tantrums did not stop even after the birth of a child. Two years later, I could not stand it and left. A few months later we made peace, signed. But after all this, a new problem arose. We used to have excellent sex, even after quarrels, we perfectly understood each other in bed. Now she constantly refuses my closeness under various pretexts – then she says that she was weaned from me, then her head hurts, then tired. We rarely have sex, and it seems to me that she agrees, just for me. She constantly recalls me the past, forced me to stop communicating with loved ones – she did not like them. When I ask her about our intimate life, she simply says: “If something does not suit you, collect things and leave”. Because of her endless claims, I am already on the verge of a nervous breakdown-for her, even a stained frying pan becomes the reason: “Let’s not live together, we can’t do anything”. What should I do? Is it possible to establish a relationship?

It is unfortunate that your marital situation develops in this way. And especially sad from the fact that you sincerely want to save your family! But your spouse is still with difficulty the role of a wife. Either jealousy is overwhelmed, then she is trying to

manipulate you, then she evades marital duties. And at the same time demonstrates his readiness to interrupt the relationship at any time, without thinking about the consequences for himself and for the child.

Perhaps your wife is a person who needs superpower emotions, and perhaps in such an unusual way she constantly checks the fortress of your love, experiences love for strength. After all, there is such a myth about the great power of love: “If you love, love me what I am, no matter what I do” women who were either devoid of parental love, attention and understanding (especially from the side of this behavior.father), or, on the contrary, sought the desired from their parents with tantrums and threats to leave the house. Or maybe she just has an unbalanced nervous system, she is quick -tempered and easily exciting. It is also possible that in general her behavior has nothing to do with you, just this model of behavior was learned in the parental family, because this is how all conflict situations between her parents were resolved.

Try to act calmer and more confident. Learn to ignore its improper behavior – with your reactions you only reinforce it. Start it regularly praise it (at least 5-6 times a day)-for appearance, for dinner, for the fact that she is a good mother, etc.D. When the spouse begins the conflict, do not pay attention, calmly engage in your business or go for a walk with your child. Start performing romantic acts (dinner, flowers, walking) without hints of “intim” to her. And when she has a good mood, tell me how attractive she is for you. And ask what you can do so that her sexual desire arises more often. Discuss what can be done to improve your relationship. If the dialogue does not succeed, offer it together or to go alone for a consultation with a specialist in improving marital relations (this can be a psychologist or psychotherapist) or classes (seminar, training) to improve the quality of marital relations.

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